If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You have to summon your inner elephant
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I party with great urgency now.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize