so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
