The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
