so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
so explain again why im purple
no
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
