So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
