i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
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