Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
