And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
