Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
