"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
