I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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