So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
