dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize