Only a mothe r could love this liver
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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