I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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