And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
