i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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