Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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