I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize