Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
