Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
