I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
