if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
