I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
