i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
