I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
