Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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