Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
