You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
