Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
