it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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