what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
