check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
