im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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