my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
