Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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