Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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