I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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