Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
