I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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