I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
if only i could text you this smell
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
