I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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