I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
