hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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