I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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