There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
