I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
