This girl is more easily done than said...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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