I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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