Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
