i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
