she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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