TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
