it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You were trust falling into bushes
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
