i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
