that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize