You really coming over, don't trick.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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